By my side: Now and forever
by Revan Sama
Summary: For a mother, every moments are precious when she spend it with her child. However when the time of farewell has to come, ancient memories of an almost same situation, that aren't even yours, can make it very difficult... Satele shan, Theron Shan and small reference to LSM revan x Bastila. Thank you for reading and commenting.


Author: Revan-sama

Game: Star wars: knight of the old republic/ the old republic.

Pairing/Character: Satele Shan, Theron Shan, LSM Revan x Bastila Shan.

Summary: For a mother, every moments are precious when she spend it with her child.  
However when the time of farewells has to come, ancient memories of an almost same situation, that aren't even yours, can make it very difficult...

Song: By my side/ performed by Hemenway

**By my side: now and forever.**

_It's okay if you don't have an answer; just keep searching for it.  
That's right, it is time for us to act like adults.  
I wish to tell you this right away,  
but my trembling wouldn't stop,  
and my heart is now screaming at me to run away._

"I am home."

After a day working both as Jedi council and as a Jedi master , Satele Shan was beginning to feel tired and she wasn't THAT old.

However...

In this apartment so empty, she had one person who had always a big grin on his face and who opened his heart to her without flinching. It didn't matter if his hair was black like his father's hair or had her blue eyes, it didn't matter if he couldn't talk and mostly tried to grab her hair. In her child's room, Master Satele Shan found peace.  
A peace that could only be obtained by experimented old Masters Jedi.

The room was small with a few toys that Satele bought for him.  
Today was no special day but she felt like bringing something new to the child.

A ball and a small droid doll.

He stared and then with the big grin that always made Satele's chest seem about two sizes too small, played with both of them.

He couldn't decided which one to play with first, so he played with them both by throwing the ball and swinging the droid doll.

Satele couldn't help but laugh at the scene. "Well, well, aren't you full of energy."

And after that she red him a bedtime story, whatever it was about the Jedi order or another theme he was very happy about it.

But it was beginning to be late, every good things have their end.

Until tomorrow.

_If the scenery I'm looking for is in the depths of your eyes,  
I wish to seize it and check it out myself._

"Well, we have played enough and I am a bit tired, but we will play again tomorrow."

He looked so disappointed and was beginning to cry.

"I will be in my room. it is next to yours remember? I will come back, I promise."

She was leaving the room but...

The sobs and pleas were growing louder.

It was heartbroken sound.

Sigh.

Satele had no choice but to return to her son.

_Even if __your tears were to take you farther away from this world,  
I would never let go of your hand._

"You...you don't like to be alone, do you?"

He continue to whine until his mother was by his side again.

Then he began to laugh happily and put his hands on hers.

_So yes, right now, I need you here right by my side.  
By my side._

Satele's heart was filled with warm, the child was really adorable, she never thought to see this kind of innocence again in her live and was blissful about it, but...

He was going to be alone.

He was destined to be alone.

A father he will never meet.

A mother he won't remember.

"Soon...I..."

Attachments...It's forbidden.

Her position as a Jedi master couldn't be compromised.

The republic and the Jedi order needed her.

"I will have to leave you."

Even if duty came first, her heart was bleeding.

...

"Your ancestor too..."

_**At the end of her life, Bastila Shan was both smiling and crying tears of happiness.**_

_**"I am going to see him!" she said to her son Vaner Shan**_

"...couldn't stay alone for too long."

_**"I am going to see my love again at last!"**_

Before she succumbed to the darkness of dreams.

Satele could still feel the small hands of her young son, Theron Shan, on hers.

As if to say that everything will be alright.

Yes...

Even if duty came first...

...Her heart had another plea.

_Please stay by my side.  
Always keep my hand gripped in yours,  
by my side._

**END**


End file.
